So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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