So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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