I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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