Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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