youre lurking in front of me
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
organizing the empties. That sober.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize