you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I would ride that face into the sunset
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
