My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
