I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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