I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
