'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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