i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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