its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
