Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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