i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
