Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
