I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
