I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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