dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
