it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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