I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
