It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I AM VODKA MAN
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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