yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize