Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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