Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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