can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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