I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
