I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
