Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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