my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize