i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
