New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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