All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
