I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
