A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize