I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
