I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
