Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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