My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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