whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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