This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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