Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
