I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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