my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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