I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
