Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
