then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
