one two three fourrrrnication!
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
