I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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