Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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