I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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