Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize