i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
