I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
