dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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