So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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