She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
