Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
