Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
