this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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