When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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