well you can't waste a boner
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
