Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
