Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize