I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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