there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
