I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
