So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I have feelings that need drinking.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
