it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
This house was built for laser tag.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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