my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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