I can tuck mytits in my pants
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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