P.S. I can't hear my feet
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
And my parents said I crawled through the house
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
