I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
