Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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