I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Nicole vs. Life
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
