You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
