the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
